After starting quite a new life the last months I came across a lot of new connections, colleagues & friends. When being new to a job, neighbourhood or – like in my case – a country, it is quite logical that one tries to fit in or, at least, that one tries to make a good impression. This is when I came across an old problem, that I already wanted to discuss some time ago. But now, with x-mas just around the corner, it is not less relevant. Saying NO can help to say yes!
Only 20 minutes
We heard it all. “Only 20 minutes. Won’t take long. Promisse”. But usually favors always take a longer time since we want to do everything right, right? And we won’t let friends done when we started something. So 20 minutes easily become hours or even days. And even if it really are only 20 minutes. 20 minutes for friend A, friend B, friend C…..you see where I am going. And I am not saying “stop helping your friends”. Of course not! I am saying “think about your own time”.
If you only live for your friends, there is no time to live for your own self. From time to time it is crucial to be a little selfish and put own things into the first place. Not always and forever, just sometimes. It’s your life.
more work, overtime
Even more time consuming: our work. Nightshifts, overtime. There are many reasons why we work so much. To much. We want to make a good impression and are hoping for a promotion. Come first, go last. No freetime, only work work work and maybe we will receive a promotion. Sometime sooner or later….maybe.
Or we are new to our job. We are energetic, enthusiastic and we want to prove that we are the right man (or woman) at the right place. We can do everything the others do. But better, faster, longer…Someone will recognize this. Sooner or later….maybe.
Maybe! It is not said that anybody will recognize your personal sacrifice. Everybody is sacrificing something of his personal life for his job so you can not count on others to see that you are sacrificing more. And actually that doesn’t matter at all! All that matters is: Is the outcome worth the sacrifice? Is it really necessary that you stay from 7 a.m until 9 p.m. in the office and therefore miss the date with your girlfriend, the soccer match of your son or simply some free time to relax?
What brings sacrificing all your time to your job? And is it really worth it? Is it necessary or could you do the same job when you only work 9 hours a day but therefore are relaxed and full of ideas instead of being tired and exhausted all day?
saying no means saying yes
Sounds crazy? Well actually, when thinking about it, it makes perfectly sense! If you say yes to one thing, you usually say not another thing. Example: If you say yes to work overtime, you automatically say no to spare-time. If you say yes to 20-minutes-favors all day long, you say no to time for your own projects.
I hope you see where I am coming from. It is totally a good thing to put others upfront and to help them out with whatever they need. But sometimes it is important to think of your own. As mentioned above: What is worth more: The promotion that might happen some time or the spare-time with your friends & family? Or is it more important to help your friends instead of finishing your own projects?
Saying no to others sometimes means saying yes to yourself and that is important. If there is no you, how can you then help others or how can you do your work properly? Make sure you have time for yourself and you can be who you want to be – in this way you, and all others, will have much more from you and your live except pure physical presence.