Wrestlemania XXXI Preview & Predictions

not at wrestlemania


Yes! Finally! The time of boring, rushed and shoot from the hip story telling is over. Professional Wrestling fans all over the worl..um…

Yes! Finally! The time of boring, rushed and shoot from the hip story telling is over. Sports Entertainment fans all over the worl…hm..

Yes! Finally! The time of boring, rushed and shoot from the hip story tell…ah wtf.

It’s Wrestlemania Time. Time for the show of shows. The grandest stage of them all. Sports Entertainment’s showcase of the immortals.

Having that said I already mentioned the most exciting things about Wrestlemania XXXI in the introduction. The super fancy sounding nicknames of what once was supposed to be the showcase of the best Wrestlers in the world. By now, 2015, it has become a showcase for story tellers and sports entertainers. Superstars. Not Wrestlers. Hence the excitement, from a pro wrestling fanbase kinda of guy (and a Paul Heyman Guy), these days is more on Lucha Underground, NXT or NJPW. The amazingly talented Heelbook did an awesome trailer pointing out the obvious.

But let’s stop with the complaining for a moment. We all know that a) we all are going to watch it anyways and b) the Raw after Wrestlemania will, quite likely, be the best Raw of the year.

So with knowing that we all are going to watch the Showcase of the Impossible Promo Cutters, let’s have a brief look onto possible outcomes and predict what is going to happen when John Cena and Roman Reigns bury all are hopes of a better future in professional wrestling sports entertainment.

To copy a famous sports website, here are my BOLD WRESTLEMANIA PREDICTIONS:

Seth Rollins vs. Randy Orton

Finally Randy Orton got his revenge and it was beautiful. He beat the living shit out of Seth Rollins and when the authority came after him he had Sting at his side to fend them off. This is probably the only match on the card that isn’t as clear as the rest in terms of the outcome. Will Rollins defeat the Viper right after his comeback? Will Orton overcome the odds (JJ Security) to beat Rollins just so we can see Rollins cash in his briefcase at the end of the show? Many possibilities. To be honest, I would be cool with either option. Both seem to have chemistry and I’m looking forward to a great fight.

Wish: A great match. Preferably with Orton winning but Seth cashing in at the ned.

Prediction: The future of the WWE wins thanks to JJ or some other outside help.

Bella Twins vs. AJ Lee & Paige

Who cares? Sorry but WWE totally dropped the ball here. AJ and Paige are awesome talent but what the heck is this tag team shit about? Seriously. I love to see divas action on NXT but this here: Bathroom break.

Wish: AJ kicking everybody’s ass

Prediction: Bellas retain due to “Twin Magic”

Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Last year this was a new contest. It was all exciting and Cesaro won in a fantastic fashion. It was amazing. What happend to Cesaro, the winner, since then? Nothing much. It didn’t elevate him at all and that’s why nobody cares about that match this year. It seems like a filler match to give everybody some kind of chance to be on Wrestlemania without actually caring about them. The only good thing: One NXT superstar gets the chance to enter.

Wish: NXT rookie wins. Sami Zayn preferably. I even would be cool with Neville though.

Prediction: WWE was teasing Kane, Big Show and Mark Henry as the dominant entries into this battle royal. And that’s why they won’t win. This time WWE might even give us what we want. A surprise victory. But only because nobody really cares about the winner.

Intercontinental championship ladder match

Bad News Barrett, Dolph Ziggler, Dean Ambrose, Luke Harper, R-Truth, Stardust, and Daniel Bryan. Those are the protagonists in the IC ladder match. Why? Because they want the title. Yes, that’s it. Wow, what a backstory.

Nevertheless this bout arguably features some of the best talent in all of WWE with Ziggler, Ambrose and, yes I have to admit it, Daniel Bryan. Even though I don’t like DBry all three aforementioned superstars would have deserved much better than just such a multi-man bout. Even Luke Harper and Cody Rhodes (yes, that’s what I call him) are incredible athletes and would deserve more.

They all know that themselves though of course. And that’s the reason why this IC ladder match could actually steal the show at Wrestlemania even though there is no real built up involved. So be prepared and look for the Show Off, DB and Dean Fucking Ambrose to steal the show – because that’s what they do.

Wish: Dean Fucking Ambrose and Dolph Ziggler take out DBry and then fight it out on top of a ladder.

Prediction: WWE never gives us what we want so I simply assume they’d do the same here and go with Barrett retaining the title. He looked so weak during the past weeks – that smells like this reverse psychology thing over and over again.

Rusev vs. John Cena

It seems to be written in stone that John Cena will conquer the Russia Bulgarian Brute Hero of the Russian Federation. However it will be at least interesting to see how Cena will bring him down. I’m not a big Superman fan but Rusev and Cena seem to have a bit of chemistry going on there. It should be a nice and compelling fight with lots of USA vs. Russia chants (what actually bores me a lot these days) – being from Europe I wouldn’t mind seeing Rusev retain the title though 😉 Obviously however WWE would prefer having Mr. WWE hold a title and what fits better to patriotic John Cena than the United States title?

Wish: Rusev knocks Cena out. Or at least an unclean finish so it Rusev would have reason to complain if he loses.

Prediction: Cena makes Rusev submit.


Undertaker vs. Bray Wyatt

Probably the match I hate the most on this card. Simply because it looks like The Undertaker is heading for his second consecutive loss. There is almost no reason why the dead man should get the victory. Nothing speaks for him. He’s not active anymore, only wrestles once a year and doesn’t have his streak to fight for anymore. Wyatt needs a big time win and the opportunity to win on the grandest stage of them all is simply ideal as a proving ground. With Undertaker being one of my childhood ‘heroes’  it’s tough to see this happening.

The built up was also a bit boring. Admittedly Wyatt cut some good promos but that’s not enough to make the feud compelling. What does Undertaker have from participating here?

Wish: Tombstone to Wyatt and Undertaker gets one last win before ending his hall of fame career.

Prediction: Wyatt wins.


Triple H vs. Sting

Probably the fight most fans are waiting for on this year’s Wrestlemania card. After rebranding Sting, THE ICON, as THE VIGILANTE and doing some questionable promos with weird voice overs WWE seems to have dropped the ball a little with the mystery that usually surrounds Sting. Nevertheless fans are still excited to see Mr. WCW in action in a WWE ring and the sight of seeing Sting in a WWE ring (next to Randy Orton not long ago) sent goosebumps down many fans’ backs.

The promos right now however show Sting as dominant figure and Triple H as the one who is always backing up. With WWE usually using reverse psychology (i.e. portraying one superstar as superior to have the underdog overcome the odds or stage an upset) we might actually be heading towards a surprise win by Triple H.

Wish: An awesome fight with interference by the Authority that has Sting close to a defeat but he’ll come up with a come back win after using his baseball bat in order to take out Triple H before he could use his sledgehammer.

Prediction: That’s really tough. It all looks like Sting will take the win but it’s so obvious that I don’t really believe it. Still I say: Sting. He wouldn’t have come back just to lose – unless he really needed the money.

Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns (WWE world heavyweight championship)

This one seems to be written all over WWE already. Roman Reigns is destined to be the new John Cena and therefore set to be the one to defeat the one in 21 and 1. Everything points towards Reigns taking the gold from Lesnar. Especially since Lesnar’s contract with WWE is about to expire and he was seen with Dana White of UFC discussing probable engagements in the octagon again.

This all speaks for Reigns defeating The Beast. The only thing that keeps a little bit of suspense alive: Paul Heyman’s fantastic promos (“..if my client wishes to unite the WWE and UFC Championship then he will do just that..”) and rumors in the internet that state that Lesnar might re-sign with WWE since WWE sees that Reigns isn’t that over with fans yet so that it would make more sense to have him chase the title for a bit longer. Still, Reigns was built up as the up and coming super hero and, as we saw with the Royal Rumble, WWE (Vince McMahon) are obviously not willing to let go of the idea. So all signs on Reigns.

(btw. with Reigns winning the fact that Lesnar ended the streak doesn’t get enough credit or spotlight. Lesnar should become the longest reigning champion after having beaten the phenom!)

Wish: Lesnar re-signs with WWE and suplexes Reigns butt all over the arena. 

Prediction: Heyman turns on Lesnar (because Lesnar is leaving or some angle like this) and aligns himself with RR and helps RR to win.